


Send N00ds

by cypherd



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: F/M, MC is mentioned in passing, Winter is my angel oc, people who were not intended to see nude pictures seeing said nude pictures, sending of nude pictures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24962206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypherd/pseuds/cypherd
Summary: In which Mammon tries to get some nude texts. Naturally, things do not go as planned.
Relationships: Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 31





	Send N00ds

“Seriously. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever been to one of those games where I haven’t just been watchin’ the cheerleaders.” 

Winter giggled. “Well you know there are a lot of attractive male demons on our side. Including your brother---eeh, I shouldn’t tease when I’ve just been run into the ground at least 20 times. Watch the wing, please!” She winced as he pinched at her.

Mammon moved his hand around her shoulder instead, inviting her to lean on him. “Well, maybe it’s a good thing. At least now I know they weren’t tryin’ anything with you.”

“Oh that’s nice. You’re happy I’m hurt? Well I hope you try taking down the whooooole of West Devildom on your own on my behalf. Then we’ll see who is sympathetic over your pain.”

Mammon used his free hand to poke her side.

“Ah, please! C’mon, c’mon, you know I’d be happy with the gesture. Plus, you might notice that I am with you and not at The Fall with the team...or the losing team for that matter. I’m here. With you.” 

“You better be.” 

“I might be able to create a minor existential crisis but...yes, I am here. With you. And, you know...most everyone’s gonna be at the big after party. I bet my common room or yours are gonna be pretty empty.” 

“Or my roo---”

“Mammon, you know darn well your brother watched that game on the live feed...if at all. So we are not going anywhere near your room - I’m not going to give him any weird ideas. Plus I have been with dudes all day, I’m not going to go hang out in a room that reeks of one.” 

“So you’re telling me if Levi wasn’t a shut in, then we’d be…”

Winter considered. “Well, I’m not sure. I haven’t given it much thought.”

“...Wait?! Are you saying I smell?”

“Nooo, you smell wonderful. Your room however is a mess. C’mon. I want to be somewhere quiet and clean.”

As it turned out, Winter was correct in saying that the House of Lamentation common room was a ghost town, as was the house itself save for Levi, if the faint strains of some kind of game background music were anything to go by

“You need to win games and decide not to go out with the team way more often.” Mammon returned from the kitchen with a rather wide variety of snacks. “Hey, what do you want?”

“They’re all unlabeled?”

“Yeah. Whaddya take me for?” he pouted, but he double checked anyway.

After some rifling, the duo found themselves stretched out on the couch, watching a live feed someone had on of the party at The Fall - it was sometimes worth watching those things (Mammon was less interested in the party and more hoping he could catch someone (read: one of his brothers) acting really stupid when drunk). Normally when they huddled up together, Winter would use her wings as a sort of blanket, but in this case she had it propped so she could keep one at an angle. She clearly was still feeling the aftereffects of the game. 

It also meant that Mammon had his head resting not against her shoulder, but against her chest. 

Once the food was gone, it took Mammon about only half a second to recognize the opportunity he’d been presented with here. No one was around. There wasn’t much danger of anyone walking in and disturbing them. 

“Hey, ya wanna…”

He caught a glimpse of Winter’s face and her slowed, measured breathing. 

“Of course. Of course yer asleep.” 

He grabbed the blanket off the couch, laid it over her and stalked upstairs to ...take care of business as it were. Not that he was sure how far they’d have even gotten in such a public space, but hey - that’s what fantasies were for.

Unsurprisingly, the next morning, Winter was gone by the time Mammon wandered through for breakfast; the common room back to its usual pristine condition. 

“So where were you Mammon?” Asmo trilled, looking ridiculously put together for someone who was more than likely incredibly hung over presently. “It’s not like you to miss a party.” 

“Probably found out one of his debtors was at the party.” Levi mumbled. 

“Didn’t you say he’s kicked out of The Fall until his tab’s paid up?” Satan added.

Mammon opened his mouth to retort in kind but it suddenly dawned on him what a fabulous opportunity he’d been handed. 

“Actually I came back here with WInter.” he sat down smugly.

“Really…” hummeed Asmo, suddenly squinting at him, as if trying to suss out whether that was true. 

Beel looked up, mouth full. “Come to think of it, she missed the team party.”

“Yeah. We were real cozy an’ everything.” he said, grin intensifying. “An’ there I was--   
  


“Oh come on. I’m here and do you think I’d be silent if anything had happened? Your room is next to mine!”

“We were out on the couch! She’s an angel, she didn’t want ta disturb you ya idjit!”

“LOL Pics or it didn’t happen!” Levi ended the conversation smugly.

Mammon growled, but supposed he really should have snapped a selfie. What a wasted opportunity. That’s what ya get for doin’ the gentlemanly thing. He pulled out his DDD, intent on getting a confirmation from Winter that they had indeed been here at least (even if nothing had happened), when he paused and considered. 

Who cared about last night when nothing had in fact happened. Or if his brothers knew. That might mean having to open a further can of worms of teasing and ‘feelings’ and he wasn’t feeling up to that at all. What might however be fun and would avoid quite a bit of annoyance is…

Winter’s DDD buzzed against her leg.

>>Your GREATEST Friend : Hey, show me your tits?

>>Your GREATEST Friend : Please

>>Your GREATEST Friend : C’mon. 

>>WinterOlympics: I’m at breakfast! 

>>Your GREATEST Friend: Fine! Just one?”

>>WinterOlympics: With Simeon, Solomon and LUKE!!

>>Your GREATEST Friend: After that?

>>WinterOlympics: ...I’ll be in class!

>>Your GREATEST Friend: Y’know I’m not hearing a ‘No’...

>>WinterOlympics: You’re right… :winky sticker:: 

>>WinterOlympics: But I gotta run for now ::Luciferonasparklepony sticker::

“Quit fooling around Mammon or you’ll be late.” Came a familiar irritated tone from behind him. Speak of the devil an’ all that.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m goin’.” 

“And all of you, be sure not to miss our student council meeting today.”

***

Winter was fairly sure that sending a picture of her naked breasts was not a mortal sin, but considering how distracted Mammon was by the very idea (if the consistent pinging of her DDD was anything to go by,) there might actually be. 

Mammon’s texts had gotten progressively shorter throughout the day, but the topic had been decidedly single-minded - there had been amongst the spam a rather detailed ASCII picture of breasts, followed by ‘Tits now?’ and variants on that almost hourly. Eventually it was just ? or some stickers.

Things had at least ceased following classes and it took Winter a moment to piece together why that was. Right - the student council meeting. Maybe she should do it now...he probably had his DDD turned off.

Some little bit of angel intuition told her not to; to wait. She chose to ignore it.

She was in private, there was plenty of time until supper. 

She lifted the hem of her shirt, pushed up her brassiere and took a moment. Then, instead removed her top and bra entirely and angled it so he could see her face and some of her wing span. 

The resulting photo didn’t look too bad. Kind of sexy, not too lewd. 

Before she could think better of it, she sent it off, carefully checking to see first that she was DEFINITELY just sending it to Mammon. If only that had been the least of her worries.

With that she quickly set her DDD to the side and redressed herself, not noticing the txt that had come in a split second after hers had left.

>>Your GREATEST Friend: stupid meetings so boring entertain me pls?

***

Mammon’s yawning was putting Belphegor’s to sh--oh wait, he was already asleep. Diavolo’s left tit (which ironically he could see from here and was not the tits he had been hoping to see today) - but these things were boring. He was the Avatar of Greed for Devildom’s sake. Summonings went the same way as they had

Step 1: Find stupid human who wants money

Step 2: Give stupid human who wants money said money

Step 3: Wait for human to die.

Step 4: Claim mortal soul.

Rinse, Repeat.

He snuck a peek at Lucifer and very subtly shifted his position to nab his DDD out of his pocket.

Another peek. 

So far so good.

He thumbed open his recent contact list.

>> stupid meetings so boring entertain me pls

The ping of an incoming message sounded ten times as loud through the meeting hall and the thwip of an outgoing was equally damning.

“I just realized I forgot ta turn this --” 

His attempt to worm his way out of it died on his lips as he saw just exactly WHAT kind of message he had just gotten.

“...thing off.” he finished in an uncharacteristic whisper.

Naturally Lucifer was on him in a second, “Mammooonnn!” 

“Uh. Really. You uh...don’t...it was a mistake!” 

Everyone’s attention was on him now. Mammon managing something dumbshit in the middle of a meeting was nothing new. He’d have his DDD back and likely a lecture or two but no, the guy looked ….not scared but incredibly embarrassed.

“Look Lucifer, it was a mistake howsabout I shut it off an’ ya can just string me up for a month.”

Whatever on that phone HAD to be good. 

Mammon’s next move was to launch himself over the arm of the chair, but even with his speed, Lucifer was there, demon form invoked, one foot on his chest to hold him down while he ripped his DDD from his grasp. 

“...shit.” Mammon managed in the smallest voice imaginable, though whether it was from Lucifer’s foot on his chest or fear of what he was about to see none of them knew.

Every other member of the student council, including Lord Diavolo who had apparently chosen to step back when it seemed the scuffle wouldn’t come to outright blows was leaned over expectantly. Levi had out his DDD himself, ready to liveblog.

“Now what is it that simply couldn’t wait until after the…”

Lucifer stared at the device in his hands, expression unreadable but no further taunts or rants forthcoming from him. His throat worked furiously however and his cheeks were dusted more red than Mammon’s.

“Honestly Lucifer, we do have a meeting to get back to…” Diavolo broke the odd, tense silence, coming over and taking the device as well. 

His expression lit up. “Ah! Well this is lovely! Do let Mammon up, Lucifer. I see our exchange students from the Celestial Realm and Mammon were engaging in what I hear is a very human tradition! I believe they call it ‘sending noods’. Kudos to you Mammon for partaking in such an event! However, I do insist you do try to keep it outside of our meetings. Please turn your device off and we will get back to this. Ah. And don’t forget to reciprocate.” 

It took Lucifer a hot second to let Mammon up off the ground, handing him back his DDD and clearly trying desperately but not entirely successfully to mask the tremor in his hand. Mammon was far less successful at masking his emotions, clicking off his device and getting back into his seat, face burning red still.

Meantime, Levi was staring straight ahead, eyes wide and unblinking while his forgotten livestream was playing a solid hour long of his lap and muffled meeting discussion. 

Levi shooting off to his room the moment the meeting was over was nothing new,, but Mammon and Lucifer determinedly set off in opposite directions and no punishment was forthcoming apparently.

“What do you think all that was about?” Asmo asked. “It sort of sounded like Diavolo said ‘Nudes’...but even I know that can’t be correct.”

“No idea.” Beel shrugged. “But I’ve never seen Lucifer look spooked like that. I wonder what it could have been.”

“Who cares. I don’t really care what Mammon gets himself up to.” Belphie yawned. “You heard Diavolo, it’s just some human nonsense. We can always ask MC sometime.” 

“Yeah, guess we could.” 

***

Breakfast at Purgatory Hall was usually a fairly calm affair; particularly when it was Simemon’s turn to cook breakfast. Sometimes the group chatted, sometimes there was last minute revisions or simple keeping to themselves. Today was one of the latter until Luke who had been walking by Winter’s chair while she texted, paused suddenly at her elbow.

“Why do you keep texting someone pictures of eggplants?

Across the table, Solomon inhaled an entire chunk of muffin, spluttering and choking. 

The distraction was enough for Simeon and Luke to rush to the other human’s side, thumping his back and offering him some water, completely distracting from the ping response from Winter’s DDD.

As well as the fact that the Angel was suddenly rushing from the dining hall, wings flared wide.

Out in the hall she quickly texted her response.

>>Maybe next time we do this in person. This text thing is way too dangerous.


End file.
